First Dates: Dating Interracially

When you go out on dates on a regular basis, it's all too easy for things to start getting boring after a while. While the people themselves will always have at least a small amount of uniqueness about them, if you're dating the same kinds of people over and over again, you'll tend to have the same types of experiences over and over again.

It can be comforting and reassuring to have the same kinds of dates, doing the same activities, and having the same types of conversations again and again. A lot of people never step outside of this kind of comfort zone, and that works well for them. But some other people love doing something new, experiencing something different, and being around different types of people than they might typically meet and hang out with. You have to make sure you're ready to mix things up a bit.

Before the Date

From the first time, you even begin messaging people and engaging interracial dating and singles at There's going to be some awkwardness about the differences between the races. As much as people want to say they are "color-blind," this is just not possible – nor should it be. It's perfectly fine to acknowledge that there are differences between the races, just as it’s entirely reasonable to recognize that there are differences between women and men.

When you start off talking to someone who’s different, it's important to remember not to be weird. Don't try to speak in any way you think you "should" when you meet someone of a given race, and don't say things in slang that you think would be appropriate. It just comes off weird. Do your best to be as individual and personal as you can, speaking in your own way and telling your own stories. This realness will be appreciated. People who want a particular type of accent or dialect will also want a specific kind of person, and you either are or aren't that type.

The Date Itself

On the date, be open. Be yourself. Be open to talking about anything. Be open to going anywhere and trying anything that isn't insanely dangerous (skydiving or tamer). It's essential that you get to know the other person in a new world that is shared by both of you. It's not going to be where you're used to strictly, and nor will it be entirely what they are used to. As scary as this might sound, it's necessary and often involves a lot of fun.

If You Hit It Off

When you hit it off and decide to start a real relationship, be prepared for that awkwardness to come back. Some people have hidden their racism from you very well, and you never knew it. But then, the people who have that within themselves will present a sort of tension. Some will even want to break off ties with you. This is okay, as the ones who really care will come back eventually.

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