Gaslighting: A Technique Narcissists Use To Make You Doubt Your Own Reality

Are you in a confusing relationship that makes you feel as if you have to question your perception of reality every day? You could be in a relationship with a narcissist and they could be gaslighting you. Gaslighting is a complicated process that can make you question everything around you. Hopefully, knowing what these gaslighting techniques are can help you to recognize them so that you know how to prepare and defend yourself against them.

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1. Withholding Emotionally 

One of the prominent narcissism symptoms is withholding from their partner. They may pretend not to understand what you’re trying to say or simply refuse to listen to what you have to say. This leaves you stuck with your thoughts and no one to share them with, forcing you to feel even more alone. 

2. Countering 

A narcissist will often question their partner’s memory of events, to the point that they can start to doubt what they actually experienced. This can lead you to second-guess everything in your life so that you end up relying on the narcissist to accurately recall events instead of your own memory. 

3. Blocking Or Diverting 

When starting a conversation, a narcissist will often change the subject to something they want to talk about or question the veracity of their thoughts. This is so they can have full control over the conversation rather than letting you talk. For a narcissist, it’s all about control and what they want. 

4. Trivializing 

A narcissist will make you feel like your needs or feelings are not important. They will downplay your emotions to the point that you’re not sure whether your feelings are valid or if you’re overreacting. Again, this strategy is meant to make you feel alone so that you don’t know whether you can trust your own thoughts or emotions at any given point in time. 

5. Denial Of Everything 

A narcissistic partner pretends to forget what’s actually taken place and will make up facts about what they want to have happened, or they will deny any promises that were made to their partner. 

What Is Gaslighting? 

It typically happens very gradually in a relationship that intensifies over time. A narcissist’s actions may seem harmless at first, but as they continue over time, their partner will become more confused, depressed, and isolated. This will cause the partner to rely on the abuser even more as a measure of what is real or not and end up being stuck in a difficult situation that the victim can’t escape. 

If you constantly second-guess yourself, often feel confused, or find yourself withholding information from your friends/family in order to avoid explaining or making excuses for your partner’s behavior, then you might be in an abusive relationship with a narcissist. It’s important that you recognize this and speak to someone who can help you get the assistance you need to improve your situation. It may feel like you can’t escape or that you have no choice being with your partner, but there is a better life out there waiting for you.